


Sparkle

by Totally_Legit



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, AU, Emotions, Fluff, Jaebum is whipped as always, Love Story, M/M, Smut, Very basic plot, a lot of feelings, but with smut, domestic cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-15 16:43:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totally_Legit/pseuds/Totally_Legit
Summary: Jaebum has no idea when or how he changed his mind about Youngjae.But he did. And dating comes with sex, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> People don't appreciate my dark side on here. I get it.
> 
> So here's some Legit porn. With sex and fluff and Jaebum being whipped.
> 
> The plot is pretty basic, but we're all here for the smut, so enjoy.  
> Gonna post in three parts. Again, because I'm so bad at writing One-Shots.
> 
> Oh and just in case one or two of you have a Déja-vu... I started writing this a long loong time ago and since I thought I wouldn't finish it, I've essentially stolen the best parts for other fics from myself, but I don't consider that a reason not to post it at all.
> 
>  
> 
> Have fun. :)

Youngjae is so fucking GORGEOUS, Jaebum can’t stop admiring him. His eyes are blissfully closed, a few stubborn strands of hair clinging damp to his forehead and cheeks. Jaebum had shoved his long bangs away, so his pretty face would not be hidden behind hair, but Youngjae’s locks are full and plenty and his shuffling around on the pillow makes them fall back into his eyes. Jaebum doesn’t have a free hand to wipe them away, needing one arm to keep himself propped up, hovering above Youngjae’s body.

He’s lying back in the sheets, limp, defenseless. Thick, luscious legs spread wide open for Jaebum to nestle in between. It’s so fucking HOT, Jaebum’s cock is twitching in anticipation. Youngjae’s mouth hangs open, pink, wet tongue darting out between the parted lips over and over and over again, attempting to wet them where they go dry from the quick breath. He’s panting heavily, occasional gasps and tiny little moans spilling out between his teeth.

It sounds so fucking DESPERATE, Jaebum wouldn’t even be surprised if he were drooling. Youngjae is long past being ready. He’s both, worn out and needy, but Jaebum can’t bring himself to move on yet, finds himself wanting to draw it out, make it last. He had found Youngjae cute, when he first saw him, but he never expected him to be this sexy. He feels like getting addicted to the soft sounds of pleasure he’s emitting, the shaking of his thighs that are so welcomingly opened for him and his heat that surrounds his fingers.

Jaebum is currently knuckle-deep inside him with three of them, fingering him thoroughly. And Youngjae is so fucking TIGHT. His walls, wet and hot are clenching down on his fingers when he rocks them in and out of his hole steadily. When he put his first finger in he was sure his cock would never fit. He’s been taking his sweet time to finger Youngjae open, watch his sanity drain in the process. He’s a mess by now and it just makes him prettier. All flushed and sweaty and unable to form coherent words. Sometimes he makes a sound as if he was trying to say something, but it gets drowned out by a breathless gasp or a tiny whimper.

Jaebum is whipped. He had neither wanted nor expected this. When Jackson returned a favor he owed by getting him a blind date, Jaebum was skeptical. They met at a restaurant and had dinner. Youngjae was cute and funny, but not very smart and a little naïve. He called him Hyung and they had the most casual conversations. Jaebum took a liking to him. He felt a little protective when noticing Youngjae’s clumsiness and accepted that he tended to laugh as well whenever Youngjae found something amusing, because his obnoxiously loud laugh was pretty contagious.

It was fine and Jaebum walked him home and they said Goodbye and that had been it.

At least that’s what he thought. Because Youngjae texted him and lured him in for a second date and to his own surprise Jaebum agreed. And it was still fun and it was very comfortable. But there was no spark. No butterflies, no heat. That’s what attraction should feel like. That’s how it had always been for him. Passionate. Wild. Uneasy. He remembers vividly how deep and hard he fell when he laid eyes on Jinyoung the first time. He’d always told people it was Love at first sight.

And Youngjae felt nothing like that. He was nice and friendly and Jaebum was fine being around him. But he did not undress him in his head three minutes into meeting him. He did not stare at his mouth for half the meal, watching plush lips form words or close around a spoonful of rice. He did not fantasize about bending him over the table and having him for dessert. He did not have to bite his tongue to keep himself from suggesting delivering him straight to his bedroom after the very first date. In fact, Youngjae had looked mildly hopeful to snatch a Goodbye kiss at his door after the second one, but Jaebum simply hadn’t felt it. Youngjae felt like a sweet friend.

And then, Youngjae took matters into his own hands for good. Jaebum was misogynist and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. If that’s how you can call it. He thinks of himself as the man. Taking the traditionally male role in a relationship. With how he’s the one to pick up his date and treat them and escort them home. And always taking the first step. And it’s always worked. Hell, Jinyoung had been a damn princess. But not Youngjae. He outright refused to be treated on that third date, unlike the first two times where he shyly accepted to have his dinner paid for, been given a small gift and finally escorted home. Now Youngjae stuffed Jaebum’s wallet back into his pocket after dinner and he held his hand and walked him all the way home. There he leaned up onto the balls of his feet and pressed his soft, wet lips to Jaebum’s.

He was smitten.

On the fourth date, which Jaebum would later call ‘The last real Date’, something between them shifted. Suddenly, when their arms brushed, Jaebum felt his hairs stand up and there was a pleasent tickle running down his spine while he watched Youngjae’s front teeth dig thoughtfully into his bottom lip. There was no impure, desperate desire; it wasn’t even sex he was thinking about exactly. Just contact. Just being close. The attraction itself was there, but it wasn’t burning so much as it was smoldering, slow and subtle.

Youngjae smiled, cheerfully and the pads of his fingers brushed over Jaebum’s knee and up his thigh. It was innocent and yet not. Jaebum didn’t take it as a hint and yet he did. It felt like Youngjae was doing it on purpose, but his eyes didn’t speak of want. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it. Or if Youngjae felt the change too. He didn’t even know what had it triggered. Was he just suddenly entertaining the thought to have sex with that beautiful boy because he’d had his food paid for? What was he, a sugar baby? Or was it just Youngjae’s confidence and ambition that had him attracted? His personality rather than just his looks? He had been handsome from the very beginning anyways.

Jaebum walked Youngjae home again, keeping his hand in a death grip and pushed him up against the door to ravish his mouth when they arrived. As confusing as everything was, he was more than willing to find out, to explore it further. Except Youngjae pressed his index fingers into his chest, pushing him off with ease and he sheepishly admitted to live with two roommates who were most likely currently waiting behind the apartment door.

Jaebum wanted to yell in frustration, wanted to put it off. Take Youngjae to his own place instead. Let his roommates see and hear them. Throw them out until they were done. He’d just made up his mind about where their relationship might be going and he needed to sort it out now. But then he realized that he had not even thought about touching Youngjae like that until merely a couple of hours ago and he felt that he wasn’t in any position to demand it now and he surrendered in confusion.

It’s their fifth date they are currently on. If it can be called a date, really, which it can’t. Because Youngjae said he’d pick him up at home (He insisted against Jaebum’s gritting teeth), but obviously Jaebum had asked him inside for a coffee that is now ice cold standing on the kitchen table untouched. And Youngjae instead is unfolding under his touch.  
Nowhere near cute or naïve or little-brother-ish. Just seductive and so so LEWD.

This is what Jaebum knows, what he can deal with. 

Jaebum finally pulls his hand out between his legs, pushing them further open, even though they’re spread so far already, just because it’s so intoxicating to watch how pliant Youngjae is, how easily his body falls away, melds under his touch. He leans down to press their lips together, digs his tongue into Youngjae’s mouth, kisses him hot and sloppy. His nerves are bare, when he finally brings his aching cock to Youngjae’s entrance, horny beyond words. Youngjae pushes at his shoulders, when his tip presses to his hole, so their lips part. Jaebum is gasping and so is Youngjae. And moaning, too and his eyes are shut tightly and he whines. “Wait. Hyung. Stop.”

Jaebum halts. Tense and shaking mildly. “What’s wrong?” He breathes and Youngjae’s eyes flutter open. “I… please… No” He whispers broken. Jaebum’s head clears a little as he stares down at Youngjae, taken aback by the sudden change. “What happened?” He wants to know and his voice sounds as disbelieving as he is. “Have I done something wrong? Have I hurt you?”

Youngjae shakes his head but he does not manage to speak up for a moment, lips forming around silent words helplessly. “Stop. Please.” He gasps eventually and averts his eyes, staring at Jaebum’s Baby Blue Bedroom walls. Jaebum is torn. Youngjae was perfectly into it just a second ago and his body still is. Limp and spread and flushed and hard. “What’s wrong?” he inquires again, still settled between his legs, still ready to get going, because he doesn’t want to quit just yet, can’t accept that they’ll just  _stop_ . It took him a lot of patience and self-control to get them where they are now, taking his time to get Youngjae all worked up.

He mumbles under his breath. “I don’t want it.” He’s trembling and it’s Jaebum’s cue to finally get off him. He settles on the mattress next to his naked body and watches him shake. “Are you okay?” he murmurs as gently as he can, even though his body is screaming at him, his cock leaking and aching, when he really just wants to pound into that delicious heat, wreck the cute, tight hole Youngjae provides.

“I’m fine…” he whispers in response, voice vanishing. “I just don’t want to…”  
Jaebum grumbles in the back of his throat. “This some kind of game?” he asks suspiciously, suddenly seeing all kinds of signs Youngjae has been playing him when he looks back. “That your thing?” Youngjae all but shakes his head, he’s still looking away from Jaebum. Arousal fading ever so slowly, he props himself up a little.   
“Then what happened suddenly? You clearly wanted to before, so if you’re suddenly changing your mind, I must have done something….” He inquires, frowning a little. If he did something wrong, he should know so he won’t do it again, right? Youngjae’s head stays directed against the opposite wall, but his eyes flicker to look back at him from the corner for a moment. He shakes his head again without saying something and Jaebum groans.

“Did you want to top?” He asks, trying to exhaust every possible reason he can think of, even though it seems unlikely with the way Youngjae laid back and opened up without being asked to and with how he was shaking in pleasure from just being fingered. The images lasting in his mind have Jaebum’s arousal pick up again. But Youngjae shakes his head mildly, motion becoming less observable the more often he does it, but Jaebum notices it still. Though he’s not sure those are really answers.

Jaebum takes a deep breath, closing his eyes when he breathes out and tries to relax. Then he does it again. He’s mad, he realizes that. But he really doesn’t want Youngjae to be hurt, does he? He carefully reaches out to stroke a thumb over hi’s cheek, settling to card through his hair and then leaving his hand at his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asks in his concerned voice this time, sounding a lot more sincere even in his own ears and manages to make Youngjae finally turn his head around. His face says “I’m about to cry” even though his eyes aren’t watery. The sort of brotherly affection Jaebum felt for him first makes a cute little roar in his chest. He half expects Youngjae to shake his head at the question, but instead his shoulders heave in something resembling a shrug. Jaebum nods and surrenders.

“So… what is your opinion on microwaved coffee?” he asks and receives the most dumbfounded expression he has seen on Youngjae’s face so far and he thinks it almost makes up for anything. “I personally” He chatters while swinging his feet off the bed, “Don’t like waste, so… I drink coffee even after it’s been cold.” Youngjae stirs and raises a bit, looking after him with pure disbelief in his eyes.

Jaebum walks into the kitchen to snatch the coffee cups from the table and heat them up. However, he does stop by the bathroom for a minute or ten.

  


When he comes back to the bedroom he finds Youngjae resting against the headboard, blanket pulled up until over his navel, legs propped up. He looks lost and a bit scared, it confuses the shit out of Jaebum, who thinks about how confident he has been about dating.

“That took a while.” Youngjae remarks and fails miserably to hit the tone of his usual cheerful tease. “Yeah.” Jaebum admits as he strides over to the bed, “I Jerked off.” Something flutters in his stomach over the way Youngjae grins and he feels a lot more comfortable. And even more when he spots the tissue crumpled up in his right fist and Youngjae sheepishly nods. “Me too.”

Jaebum hands him one of the cups and holds his hand out for the paper which he’s being handed with a faint blush. After throwing it in the trash he settles back on the bed, back against the headboard like Youngjae does and takes a sip of his steaming coffee. “Ughh…” Youngjae makes and scrunches his nose after tasting. Looking at him from the side, Jaebum raises an eyebrow. “Got something to complain over?” Youngjae shakes his head with a laugh.

  


  


  


“So…” Jaebum begins casually, waiting for a hum of attention before continuing. “How well do you know Youngjae?” Jackson’s head pipes up. “Not very well.” He answers cleanly. “By now I’d assume you know him better than me.” His eyes narrow almost unnoticeable. Jaebum knows that he’s got his full attention now, can almost feel how his brain is working, coming up with scenarios that cause Jaebum to ask such a question.

He wants to withdraw, kind of, shake it off and leave it, but instead he thinks it’d be nice to get over with it. “So, we date. He comes to my place, okay? Things happen. And then… we’re at it, you know?” Jaebum explains and Jackson nods in understanding without suggestive jokes or smirks which he’ll eternally be grateful for. “All through with the foreplay and it’s super hot and then I’m about to get inside him and suddenly, out of nowhere, he tells me to stop.”

Jacksons head tilts a little. “And?” he questions and Jaebum huffs in response. “No and. That’s been it. Over and out.” Jackson is silent for a moment, then he repeats. “And?” Jaebum grumbles. “You kidding me? Don’t you think that’s strange?” He looks at Jackson questioningly, who shows a confusing combination of a headshake and a shrug. “No?” He says with an obvious question mark.

Jaebum ponders for a moment. “But… why?” He studies Jackson’s frown. “How should I know?” he answers and maybe he rolls his eyes a little, aggravating Jaebum beyond words, but he hopes for a helpful advice from Jackson so he swallows it down. “Did he run away afterwards?” Jackson asks, showing mercy and Jaebum shakes his head. “What happened then?”

He shrugs. “We just hung out. Had dinner, watched a movie. Made out a little bit…” There is something fuzzy bubbling in his chest when he thinks about how timidly Youngjae had scooted closer on the sofa to lean in for a kiss. It was so soft and cute. Jackson watches him with narrow eyes. “You really can’t hide it to save your life when you’re smitten, Hyung.” He states dryly, which is fake, because in reality he wants to squeal happily. Jackson can’t hide it either.

“I told you, we have a thing going.” Jaebum scowls, even though he’s just realizing it really. “So I don’t get it even more.” Jacksons ‘tssk’s’. “You’re thinking too much. Maybe he just had an upset stomach and was too embarrassed to tell you.”

  


It wasn’t an upset stomach. They date and date and date and Youngjae hesitates each and every time. They kiss and make out. Sometimes cute and tender, sometimes hot and steamy. But they never even go as far anymore as they did the first time and Jaebum is about to freak. He really likes Youngjae, but he can’t forever date a guy who won’t have sex with him.

So he does the one and only mature thing he can do.  
He strips down to his birthday suit and walks back into the living room where Youngjae is snuggled on the sofa. “You!” Jaebum speaks loudly and Youngjae turns around. “Listen here you little shit.” Jaebum witnesses how his eyes grow in size and even a faint shimmer of pink dusting his cheeks. It’s cute as fuck. “It’s been, like, six weeks or something, okay?” He explains, arms stemmed into his sides, standing as confidently as he can. “It’s really about time we fuck.”

There are a lot of scenarios that Jaebum can come up with. Some played in his head in the director’s cut, some were just fleeting imagines of ‘what if’s. There’s none in which Youngjae smiles wider and wider until he breaks out into cheerful laughter. Jaebum is glad that Youngjae has seen it before; otherwise he’d think he’s laughing at his junior. He frowns with a pout.

Youngjae’s laughter fades eventually, but his pretty face is still adorned with a happy grin as he reaches out a hand, holding it open for Jaebum to take, which he does without hesitating, but careful nonetheless. Youngjae tugs him closer gently, using it to gesture him to sit down on the sofa. “You’re really cute.” Youngjae states. “You were so patient and now you come up with this…” He trails off and leans in for a kiss once Jaebum sits in front of him.

Their lips fit together just fine, routinely by now, but not boring. Jaebum finds himself tilting his head, prodding his tongue to find Youngjae’s for a play, parting his lips in the process. It’s like all the other times they were kissing, except Jaebum is naked after all and Youngjae slides both his palms from his shoulders down his chest and to his thighs. He then curls the fingers of his right hand around Jaebum’s flaccid cock. It has him gasp and their mouths part in the process. “I  _was_ patient.” Jaebum states glossy-eyed and Youngjae nods.

He rubs him to hardness gently and it feels good. His hand is soft, his grip firm, though his skin is a little dry. Still, Jaebum is willing to take what he can get. Even a sloppy handjob will be heaven in his perpetually horny state. “Why did we wait for so long?”, He asks, already mildly panting.  
“I don’t know.” Youngjae murmurs and looks into his eyes with a small smirk. “Why did you?”

Jaebum’s mouth falls open, aghast, dumbfounded, speechless. Did  _he_ ? He’s not sure. He walked on eggshells around Youngjae since the disastrous attempt last time, of course. But he tried to get Youngjae to sleep with him at least a few more times, didn’t he? “Wh…” He makes, cutting himself off with a breathless moan. “Me?” He gasps, staring at Youngjae’s adorable face and relishing in the grip around his member.

Youngjae leans in, presses his lips against the shell of his ear, hellishly confusing. “You didn’t exactly try to seduce me.” He murmurs, hands sliding up and down steadily, peppering kisses all over the side of his head. Jaebum wraps his arms around him to hold him close. “Not fair…” He heaves, “I didn’t want to pressure you… In case you had a reason to…” There’s more fierceness in Youngjae’s grip and Jaebum breaks off. He just thought he’d be satisfied, but somehow he isn’t. He gets a hold of Youngjae’s hand and pulls it off.

With parted lips and under heavy breathing he stares into an astounded face. “You backed out.” He explains, “Out of nowhere the last time. I thought I couldn’t just…” He shrugs. Youngjae smiles again, but it feels off. “I’m sorry.” He says and Jaebum notices the sadness in it. “You weren’t very insistent so… I just went with it.”

“You could have taken the initiative yourself.” Jaebum accuses, realizing he’s still holding both of Youngjae’s hands in his own. Youngjae nods, but just answers “Sorry” again. It doesn’t feel right to have him apologize and it has Jaebum shake his head over that. He looks sadder then, but smiles bravely. “Let me make it up to you.” He suggests, seductive by all means but it’s off off off. Especially because he slides down from the sofa, even though Jaebum still holds his wrists and he sinks to his knees in front of him, licking his lips.

It’s hot, yes, but…  
Youngjae finally breaks free, trails his fingertips along his thighs, gently nudging them apart. It’s when he parts his lips to press an open mouthed kiss to his tip that Jaebum panics. He knows for sure that as soon as his cock slips between those plush lips, he won’t be able to stop it anymore. Hastily he cradles Youngjae’s head with both hands and stills him. There’s curiosity in his face, but it doesn’t wipe out the sad undertone.

“This is dumb.” Jaebum states, a little frustrated. God, just how much he wants Youngjae to suck him off, but there is something more important. Something he learned in the past weeks. 

“Me?” Youngjae asks, eyes wide. Jaebum shakes his head, a little harder than required, to clear his mind.  
“Look, when I said you should have initiated it, I didn’t mean in order to please me. I meant if you wanted it you could have.”

Youngjae nods very softly, but Jaebum doesn’t feel he understands. “But you clearly don’t. I mean you talk like it’s just…. About me?” It doesn’t feel right how Youngjae kneels on the floor, but Jaebum can’t get him up, so he slips off himself and sits on the ground with him. He reads of insecurity in Youngjae’s face.

“Are you Asexual or something?” It would be ridiculous to expect of him to retrace the train of thoughts that brought him to this conclusion and he can’t blame Youngjae for his stunned silence and the eventual “What…?” that follows. “I can’t read minds, Youngjae-ah.” Jaebum explains. “I don’t know why you act how you act and if you won’t tell me, all I can do is come up with conclusions that make sense.”

It’s refreshing to see the amused smirk on his face, and it has Jaebum realize that he can by now read Youngjae very well. “I’m not Asexual.” Youngjae grins. “Why would you think that.”  
“Because you don’t want to have sex with me!” Jaebum admittedly gets a little loud and he does startle Youngjae again, observing every little detail in his expression. “Is it me?”

Youngjae shakes his head. Aghast. “I don’t… It’s not… I do!” He answers and it’s little convincing. “I’m up for it.” He promises and trails his hand down Jaebum’s still very naked chest. “I won’t back out again, I promise.”  
If it weren’t the thing Jaebum really wants so much. That makes it very tough to reject him. But he knows he has to. If he has sex with Youngjae now, he’ll probably regret it forever. He doesn’t have time to think about how he acts entirely against his own character. Since when does he feel more urged to protect than to fuck?

“That’s not what this conversation is about, Youngjae-ah.” He huffs, getting impatient enough that he could start yelling in frustration if he let himself go. “I’m not mad about that.” Which is a lie and not. He’s not mad at Youngjae for backing out. “I’m mad. That you won’t tell my _why_!” It’s the first time Youngjae actually looks away. He shyly averts his gaze, looking towards the TV that is still running, even if on mute. “If I don’t know what had you so scared…” He explains as gently as he can. “I can’t make it better.”

Youngjae’s eyes close and he shakes his head, but without turning back to him. “It won’t happen again.” His small voice says. “I promise.”

  


It’s quiet. Jaebum doesn’t move and doesn’t answer for such a long time that Youngjae eventually looks back at him. Jaebum’s heart aches. He looks so pretty and so lost. He brings the palm of his hand against his cheek and leans in for the softest of kisses. It’s when they part that Youngjae speaks again and as he does he sounds so sad, so quiet and timid that Jaebum’s heart almost breaks.

“Will you sleep with me?” He says. “Or will you break up with me?” Something cold crawls down Jaebum’s back. “Or both?”

  


Somewhere, somehow, deep inside his brain, it clicks.

  


He wraps his arms around Youngjae’s waist and guides him backwards gently, lets him sink to the floor. He places a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Then another one. Sweet little butterfly-kisses all over his cheeks that dust a lovely shimmer of pink and then his jaw and his neck. He pulls the collar of his sweatshirt down, so he can trace the shape of his collarbone with his lips. Youngjae makes a cute sound and his muscles relax into the carpet.

Jaebum traces his palms up his arms and shoulders. His touches and kisses so tenderly and innocent, that it’s almost obscene when he darts his tongue out to lick a wet stripe up to Youngjae’s ear, feeling him shiver.

Of course he still doesn’t  _really_ understand. Can’t know what ever happened that it left him insecure and frightened, can’t fathom what monster could break such a pure unblemished heart. But it is pretty certain that something happened. That someone hurt him. And that’s heartbreaking in and of itself. Because Youngjae doesn’t deserve this. Nobody does. Youngjae the most.

Nibbling on his earlobe always has Youngjae giggly within seconds. He’s so ticklish that he squirms and raises his shoulder in defense. “You’re so adorable.” Jaebum sighs and slips his fingers under the hem of Youngjae’s shirt to caress his stomach. The soft skin still feels beautiful under the pads of his fingers. He pretends to be exploring his body for the first time, thoroughly touching and petting every corner. Youngjae is squirming impatiently in no time, snaking a hand into his hair and pulling him away from his neck to press their lips together.

Jaebum lets himself be guided into the kiss. It’s very slow and very calm while Youngjae is fully in control of the tempo. Most of it must be pretense though, Jaebum assumes, because Youngjae sneakily slips his free hand between them and pops his  own pants open. Jaebum detaches from his mouth with a smirk which earns him a slap to the shoulder.

“Excited?” He teases, pushing Youngjae’s shirt all the way up until under his arms and leans down to press his lips on his torso right beneath the hem. Youngjae’s cute, velvety nipples look incredible inviting, but he spares them for now, kissing down the chest until he reaches the waistband of Youngjae’s panties that peak out from under the opened jeans. He grabs it and sits back to pull it all off in one go. Just the view of Youngjae’s naked legs that sink back to the floor have his mouth water.

“Focus.” He scolds himself internally, caressing his way up these edible thighs until he can slip his right hand around the base of his hardened cock. Youngjae moans and shudders under the simple touch. His lidded eyes blink down at him. Jaebum places his lips on his hipbone while caressing his length and licks a thick wet stripe back up to do what he wanted before. Wrap his mouth around a perky nipple and suck it inside, relishing in the beautiful moaning it provokes.

He catches the soft nub between his teeth and teases it with his tongue all while pumping up and down Youngjae’s erection and thumbing around the head. Moans get louder, lewder, Youngjae’s fingers tense again in his hair. Jaebum gives it his all, really, coaxing himself to keep his hand in a steady rhythm and slurp enthusiastically around the chest.

“Hyung, I…” Youngjae croaks, bottom squirming on the carpet. He hums in response, quickens his strokes and switches sides, slicking up the other nipple. Youngjae whines loudly, his muscles tense. “Please I…” He chokes out, gets cut off by another moan. “Come.” Jaebum speaks against his chest and it was meant more as encouragement and less as an order, but Youngjae unravels immediately.

His hips buck into his hand, nails scratch along his scalp when he tenses up, then he spills hot onto his stomach, cock twitching in his grasp. He’s panting breathlessly and falls limp back onto the carpet. Jaebum releases his nipple and softening length only when it’s completely over, before he straightens up to catch Youngjae’s parted lips into another kiss, swallowing his rigid breaths.

It takes a bit before Youngjae lazily begins kissing him back. It’s sweet and tender and gives Jaebum plenty of time to force his body to cool down. 

Youngjae eventually stirs, pushes against his shoulders to get them both to sit up. His cheeks are still colored in a soft blush. He purses his lips to smack an adorable kiss onto his lips and sneaks his palm down Jaebum’s chest between his legs.  
He has to take a very deep calming breath to brace for what’s coming next and catches Youngjae’s wrist before it reaches its goal. He receives a surprised look from wide doe eyes and a small. “Huh?”

“Don’t bother.” He says and tugs the hand away, scrambling to his feet. “What?” To make this worse, Youngjae didn’t follow but stayed on the ground, on the perfect height to… Jaebum shakes his head. “I mean don’t… don’t worry.” He attempts to pull Youngjae up by the hand he’s still holding. “Let’s watch a movie.” He says, avoiding to look directly at the confused expression and gestures towards the TV. “You wanna order food? I want pasta.”

And that’s it. They put their clothes back on and huddle on the sofa. Youngjae leans into his space to peek at his phone while they pick food and there he stays, feet tucked under him, knees placed on his thighs and his head at his shoulder. At least until the food arrives. And then afterwards again. Youngjae makes an effort to sit as closely as possible, but it’s just really fucking cute. Once Jaebum willed his boner down, it doesn’t come back, not even with Youngjae’s hot breath ghosting over his neck and behind his ear. Because it’s comfortable. Because not everything is sex with Youngjae.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda had to edit the tags, because I kept writing and it just got, like really cute with lots of cuddling and talking and stuff.  
> So I had to take the porn tag out. I'm sorry. It's still a sex-based story, but not as pornographic as originally intended.  
> But I swear they're SO cute.

And that’s it.

He thought. Jaebum normally sleeps naked. But since they weren’t sexually active he’d settled to sleep in a T-Shirt and sweatpants, or at least some boxershorts, when in a bed with together. Youngjae is already snuggled under the covers when he emerges from the bathroom in a pair of loose boxers and a ratty old T-Shirt.

He sneaks under the blanket and turns off the light. He only has one nightstand with a lamp and that’s on Youngjae’s side (The side that Youngjae tends to sleep on. Not that he already owns one side of the bed, that’d be ridiculous). He turns it on and that’s strange because Jaebum had to learn that Youngjae likes it to be completely dark when he sleeps, something that Jaebum can’t understand. He usually leaves a light on at night. He’s not a coward, but he feels safer then.

Okay, maybe he is. So, the darkness is one of the reasons why he clings onto Youngjae’s body like a koala at night. He feels safer then, too. The other reason being that Youngjae is just so incredibly soft, it’s tough to resist cuddling him.

But now Youngjae turns the light on and rolls around to face him. “What’s up?” Jaebum smiles and reaches out to pull him into his arms. As he wraps them around his torso, he notices something strange. When his hands close behind Youngjae’s back he feels the silky warmth of his bare skin under his palms. Then their lower bodies connect and not only is he just as nude down there- he’s also quite hard.

“Oh.” Jaebum makes and chuckles softly, even though his own blood rushes south immediately. “Again?” Youngjae kind of hums, but it wavers off into a low whine. Then he adds in a seductive whisper. “I’m ready.” Next he pushes Jaebum away to lie on his back and crawls over him. Or rather slithers. He makes sure to keep as much physical contact as possible, first wrapping a leg over him, then following with the rest of his body until he’s fully lying on top of him, bodies pressed into one another by his weight.

“Oh.” Jaebum makes again, startled by the urgency of the motions. Youngjae’s hard-on presses right onto his crotch, sending nice tingles through his system. Youngjae brings their lips together, wet but gentle kisses, not nearly as heated as they could be.

Jaebum’s arms find their way around him again, stroking down his back until he can cup his thick, bouncy cheeks with his hands. Youngjae rubs back against him and hums once more. Jaebum breaks the kiss and gazes into his eyes, pupils wide in the dim light. “Are you sure?” He asks quietly, receiving a vivid nod in response.

He… is so…  _tempted_ . If he didn’t still think that  _some_ thing is quite wrong. Not that Youngjae doesn’t understand the rules of consent, but there’s a difference between a verbal ‘yes’ and one that is really meant as such. “I don’t know, Youngjae…” He murmurs defeated and rolls him off until they’re beside each other again. His body is very unhappy about the loss of contact.

“Oh GOD!” Youngjae yells audibly frustrated. “What is WRONG with you?” He sits up, the blanket falls off his frame, leaving him naked down till his private parts. It looks sinful, even though Jaebum saw him naked before, it still is exciting. “Why are you doing this to me?” He demands to know, voice wavering slightly as it loses volume. “I’m not.” Jaebum attempts to soothe, reaches out and pats his hair gently. “I’m just concerned about you.”

Youngjae’s lips press into a thin line. He’s indecisive, somewhere between being angry and giving in. Then he bursts out. “Yes you are!” His brows knit together and it’s absolutely endearing. “You’re so inconsistent! You don’t want to sleep with me, then you do, then you don’t, then again, but then not anymore and I just… I don’t… I don’t understand…” He finishes with a cracking voice and, if Jaebum isn’t mistaken in the poor lighting, tears dwelling in his eyes. His protective instinct roars to life viciously.

“Youngjae…” He tries as calm as possible and scoots closer to touch him. Hair and face and shoulders and neck, he pets as much skin as he can touch until finally settling his palm against his cheek. “This has _nothing_ …” He puts emphasis on that word, “To do with me not wanting you.” Youngjae’s nose scrunches in disbelief. Cute cute cute. “I was the one who said earlier today I couldn’t wait anymore, remember?” He tries a smile, but it backfires.

“BUT THEN YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND!” Youngjae pulls from his touch as he yells. He’s angry, but whiny underneath. Jaebum is reminded of a child throwing a tantrum and he almost chuckles. This whole situation is absolutely nuts. It shouldn’t be so serious at all, but he can’t shake off the feeling that it’s absolutely serious for Youngjae. So he refrains from cooing about his sulky expression.

“Youngjae.” He attempts again. “First of all: I am not going to break up with you just because we’re not having sex right now. Okay?” Youngjae pouts. “You’re not obligated to if you don’t want it.” “But I…” Jaebum interrupts him before he can finish. “I’m sorry! For pressuring you.”

Youngjae takes a few shaky breaths, then his voice is calm and collected when he says. “I.  _want_ it.” Jaebum reaches for his hand, but he takes it out of his grasp and places his warm, soft palm on the back of his hand, holding it down onto the mattress. “I have never not wanted it.” He explains with no urgency, hardly above a whisper. “That’s what I’ve met up with you for in the first place.” Jaebum can’t help the frown creeping on his face.

Shyly Youngjae averts his eyes, but his hand stays reassuringly. “Jackson said you were handsome and… uhm lonely and I was… I mean I just needed some…” He fades out, the implication having Jaebum’s cock twitch in interest. ‘Down with you.’ He thinks frustrated. He’s admittedly a little upset that he was in the planning for a no-strings hook-up, but he reminded himself that it took him some time to warm up to Youngjae in the first place. He’s confused.

“Well, I won’t say that we didn’t go there rather quickly, but then… you remember what happened next?” He complains and maybe now he’s the one sulking. Youngjae shifts, but squeezes his hand.  
“… Just when we were about to… I realized…” Jaebum looks at him expectantly while he listens and witnesses in surprise how he blushes a deep pink, barely visible. “Suddenly I realized that I like you quite a bit.”

Jaebum inhales sharply. That’s the furthest in the direction of confessions that’s happened between them and it makes his ears warm and his heart flutter. He had no idea how much he needed that. He wants to answer, he really does, but he can’t just yet. There’s so much to dissect.

“I take it.” He finally says and sees Youngjae’s face fall in disappointment. “That you were afraid I was gonna drop you after I’ve had you.” Youngjae scoffs, making something like an “Ugh” sound. “It’s not that simple.” He says and he does take his hand back now. “Then tell me, please.” Jaebum resists reaching out for him. When he doesn’t get a reply, he tries again. “There are some really bad people in this world… And sometimes they hurt us.”

Jinyoung. Had been one of those. Jinyoung was spoiled and demanding. And vicious when he didn’t get what he wanted. But Jaebum had put up with it for too long. He’d been seduced and he’d given in- time and time again until he didn’t notice anymore, how thin he’d worn.

“It wasn’t his fault…” Youngjae answers quietly and Jaebum nods. Yeah that’s what he’d thought. “I said I like you.” Jaebum’s heart skips a beat upon hearing those words again. It doesn’t feel like he’s going to get used to hearing them all too soon. “But it’s not like I haven’t noticed how indifferent you are towards me, so…” “ _Indifferent_?” Jaebum squeaks, aghast. “Hyung!” Youngjae’s voice wins some strength with the word. “You wouldn’t even have gone out with me a second time, let alone kissed me if I hadn’t insisted. I get it that I might not be your type or whatever and I don’t know what you expect from this relationship, but will you please be truthful with me?”

Jaebum blinks in utter confusion. How’d this conversation take a 180° turn out of nowhere? “ The moment that I realized I didn’t want you to just be a… a one night stand, I just wanted to get myself as much of you as possible. And it was okay for a while you know?” He keeps going, infinitely sad, but steady, “Just taking whatever time I can have with you, but now… I just want you to either tell me straight away that you feel no sexual desire for me, or… just get over with it, because I want you so bad.”

Jaebum shivers under his pleading look. “Get... over with… Youngjae you make it sound like a chore…” He sighs exasperated. “Yeah.” He nods. “But not for me. For you. Just be honest.” It takes a lot of willpower to not jump him then and there and show him _how_ much he wants him. “For fucks sake.” He mutters, shaking his head to clear his mind. “That’s not how… That’s not how this works… I just…”

Youngjae crawls in, shoves the blanket out of the way and straddles his lap. “Is that a yes?” He asks, almost, but not quite bringing their lips together. “Just say it once, please. Just once.” Jaebum surrenders. There’s things they will have to talk about, but then again, the “ex’s talk” doesn’t need to happen that early in a relationship. And who knows? Maybe it’ll solve everything. Or maybe, he thinks, while for what feels the millionth time he slides his palms up Youngjae’s back, feeling a lot of soft skin and down his spine, maybe there isn’t actually anything to solve.

Except sexual tension that is.

“Say…” He murmurs against Youngjae’s waiting lips, “How much I like you by now? How I was nothing but afraid that you’d feel used after we slept together? How hard it was to hold back sometimes?” Youngjae gasps and presses down onto his lap, arms wrapping around his neck. “Or would you rather hear about how gorgeous you are? How breathtakingly sinful?” He tilts his head to find Youngjae’s ear as he speaks, never stopping to let his hands wander up and down his back. “How I want to ravish you, touch you, taste you and swallow you whole.”

“I like that.” Youngjae breathes out, carding a hand into his hair and pressing him against his neck. Jaebum presses his lips against the skin, licks behind his ear and listens to soft sighs in response. If he thought last time that Youngjae was sensitive, it’s nothing against now. He can feel the goosebumps he elicits by nibbling on his earlobe and continuously kissing his neck all over. Youngjae’s whole body sits flush against his own and his length is already pressing into his stomach as it wakes.

“Why are you so soft?” Jaebum asks in awe, sliding his palms down to get hold of that gorgeous butt again and further to his thighs. “Humpfh.” Youngjae makes. “Don’t blame me. I’m trying!” He pouts. Jaebum’s heart flutters once again. He feels light finding some of the cheekiness he knows in Youngjae, a familiarity he’s missed. “No.” He chuckles and makes a point out of smooching extra noisy kisses to his shoulder. “It’s good. I like it.”

Youngjae makes a tiny noise, something like a breathless squeal and pushes his entire weight into him, successfully throwing him back into the sheets and there he captures his lips in a lingering kiss. “Tell me more.” He demands when they part for a moment. Jaebum is silenced because the kiss lasts, bringing him back to moving his hands all over Youngjae’s backside, as far as he can reach all while Youngjae makes a point of slipping his own under Jaebum’s shirt, caressing his stomach and chest. It’s so sweet and so urgent at once.

“Youngjae.” Jaebum gasps breathless once they finally part, squeezing his cheeks and upper thighs but unable to sit up due to his whole weight resting on top of him. “If all you want is to feel desired.” He whispers. “Look no further...” Youngjae makes another cute sound, but he’s taken over the task of latching onto Jaebum’s neck so it’s muffled. While he sucks a bruise into his skin and rubs over his chest with the balls of his hands, his hips start to squirm, rubbing their crotches together. It has Jaebum moaning in no time. It’s too much. Overwhelming. He needs something to do, on the verge of just throwing Youngjae over to ravage him, but his knees are so firmly planted on the bed and his bottom putting so much pressure.

“Words, Hyung.” Youngjae growls against his throat and ruts his hips down. Jaebum wishes dearly he wasn’t wearing those stupid pants. “God, Youngjae...” He says, voice thick with lust even in his own ears. “You feel so good...”

Youngjae scrambles up, not really off him, but enough to tug on his shirt and pants. It’s a combined effort to get them off, but afterwards Youngjae is right where he was again, straddling his thighs, now with no clothing in between their bare erections rubbing at one another and it’s just awesome. Jaebum heaves out a happy moan, curling his fingers around Youngjae’s waist to keep him there. And because he just doesn’t get to touch wherever he wants.

When Youngjae leans away to pull open the drawer on his nightstand and rummage through it, he takes the chance to stroke up his chest and tease a nipple, evoking his breath to stutter and hips to twitch. Something falls onto the pillow next to Jaebum’s head when Youngjae returns and urgently leans down for a rough kiss.

Jaebum groans into his mouth in frustration, once again restricted to wrap around his back. He runs his thumbs down his sides, down to his hipbones, feeling taught muscles underneath the soft layer of skin and flesh. Their chests are connected tightly, Youngjae without shame to lie on top of him with his full weight. There’s heat and pressure and he feels so  _close_ . He just wishes he could do more.

Youngjae fumbles, shifts, they moan in unison. Jaebum hears the pop of the bottle cap right by his ear and it takes him a comically long time to process.  
“No!” he gasps against Youngjae’s wet lips, distracted by how his tongue looks to play. “Let me.” He insists, blindly grasps for his hands. They make a mess. The lube smears everywhere when Jaebum attempts to scoop it onto his own fingers from Youngjae’s palm. He almost expects him to protest with how eager he seems to stay in charge, but he lets him.

Jaebum has to stretch his arm as far as he can to manage to get it down to his butt. Youngjae cooperates, scooting forward just so. Jaebum can trace his cock rubbing up his stomach as he does, his own still tightly confined with Youngjae’s balls dragging up the length. “Gosh, fuck…” He grumbles, searching jittery for Youngjae’s rim, everything just too tight and hot.

When Jaebum squeezes one plush cheek in his left hand the kiss finally breaks, if it can still be called a kiss, that sloppy mess of tongues and saliva. Wet breath hits his neck when Youngjae buries his face there, panting in his ear and arms stretching over their heads to leans against the headboard. It’s not necessary in this position that Jaebum spreads his cheeks, but he does it anyway, exposing all of Youngjae’s private parts even though nobody gets to see.

He rubs the slicked up fingers of his right hand over his hole, hearing and feeling how his breath hitches. “You’re so sensitive.” He murmurs, still in awe about it, relishing in the quiet whimpers. “And you sound so amazing…” Youngjae ruts his hips in response, muscles flexing.

Jaebum finally breaches his entrance with his middle finger, pushing inside as far as he can, which is not very far in this awkward angle. But that doesn’t matter, because Youngjae’s reaction is intense nonetheless, his moan loud so close to his hear and hole clenching around the intruder. “Jesus…” Jaebum mutters under his breath, adding the second finger immediately. He wonders if he forgot just how tight Youngjae is or if he wasn’t before, as his entrance encloses both his digits and he moans some more.

Jaebum is glad that Youngjae was so generous with the lube, his fingers slick enough to mimic a thrusting motion, even if shallow, but it’s enough. Enough for Youngjae to whine at his ear, wet lips grazing the skin and his restless hips rubbing forth and back, creating a friction that is the one thing keeping Jaebum sane.

“You’re so tight…” He sputters, voice raspy and fingers digging in and out the sweet heat with a slick noise. Youngjae tears his head away, just a notch, just enough to place his lips right against the shell of his ear and he gasps. “I didn’t…” He speaks, entirely out of breath and disrupted by lewd noises. “Since we dated… Didn’t ever…” Jaebum groans, fingers curling in, tightening against his will. If Youngjae really means what he…

“Nothin’ up there myself.” Youngjae moans. “Wanted to be tight for you.”

Jaebum’s eyes shut close and his body convulses. “Shit Youngjae…” He groans. “Don’t say that…” “Let me…” Youngjae breathes, skittling further up subtly, maybe unconsciously, giving Jaebum the chance to push his fingers a little deeper. “It’s my way to.. hnngh…” He tenses and gasps. “… to make you feel desired.” Jaebum. Can’t. Even.

He’s not sure how to handle all the strange quirks and changes in personality that Youngjae throws upon him. He doesn’t want Youngjae to put himself down like that, he really doesn’t, but he’s so turned on by now he’s beginning to lose any sense of propriety. “You don’t need to.” He answers and repeats it a couple of times, sliding his free hand up his back, never tired of feeling the silky skin under his fingertips and presses them together with the flat of his palm between his shoulders. It isn’t necessary, but he feels he needs to do his own part in keeping them close and tight.

“I want to.” Youngjae whispers in response, tongue darting out to lick at Jaebum’s ear and have him keen. He takes his arms back down, elbows dig into the pillow when he cradles Jaebum’s head and lifts it into a passionate kiss. His hips push back onto his fingers and down, squashing his achingly hard cock against his stomach, moans getting caught in their mouths and Jaebum doesn’t know whose they are.

Jaebum has never been this little in charge. He can’t do anything when Youngjae finally, after an eternity, sits up and their connection breaks. His fingers slip out of Youngjae’s ass when he slithers downwards until he’s settles on his thighs. Jaebum feels like screaming over the loss of contact, his cock twitching in protest, skin yearning for warmth. Youngjae grabs the stuff he threw on the pillow, ripping open the condom package to roll it on and that little touch alone has Jaebum moan in pleasure and anticipation again. Youngjae is just out of reach and somehow he forgot that he can actually move when he’s not being held down, so he just digs his fingertips into the blanket for something to hold on to, while his erection is slathered in a thick coat of lube by the warmest, softest touch he’ll ever know.

Youngjae looms over him when he gets up onto his knees. It feels intimidating, but in a good way. He’s helpless, powerless, about to be devoured by this beautiful creature. “So gorgeous.” He mumbles absently, gazing up to him with glassy eyes. Youngjae winces quietly, shuffling and reaching for Jaebum’s length to place it against his entrance. His free hand hangs awkwardly in mid-air, fisting and loosening continuously. Jaebum reaches out for it, fingers entangling with one another, witnessing an emotion flicker over Youngjae’s face that makes his heart flutter.

Youngjae stares him down, wide-eyed, pure but determined when he lets his hips sink ever so slowly. It takes an eternity until Jaebum finally breaches the tight entrance and his arms jerk, pulling roughly on Youngjae’s hand, fingers tightening, his other hand reaching for Youngjae’s knee, digging into the skin.

Youngjae squeezes back, lips parting in tender moans and eyes clouding with lust, but steady in the way he lowers his bottom down. It’s fucking amazing, Jaebum can’t fathom. Youngjae is really, really tight and so warm, so perfectly soft inside, the sensation is so foreign and new as if it was his first time. And it is –in a way. Because he’s never felt this intensely cherished. They’re not fucking. Or screwing. Or banging. Or some other euphemistic shit word.

They’re having sex. They look at each other. They hold hands and they don’t let go, fingers entangled while Jaebum rubs the pads of his free hand into the skin above Youngjae’s knee. He tries to give his voice a dark, seductive tone, but it just comes out crooked and needy. “So good.” He praises. “Feel  _so_ good, Youngjae…” As he bottoms out, slow but determined and his squishy cheeks lie flush against Jaebum’s hips, his length whole and perfectly engulfed in heavenly heat.

Youngjae’s freed hand scrambles over his own thigh and up, hovering over his hard little cock, but he doesn’t grab it, presses his palm onto his stomach instead as if he could feel Jaebum inside him there and it’s so damn obscene. Jaebum moans, his hip twitches involuntarily, barely anything but enough to have Youngjae release needy sounds and squeeze his hand again. He’s still adjusting, still getting used to, Jaebum knows that and it’s almost torturous, his cock just sitting there inside him. He attempts to sit up, wants to kiss those glistening lips and touch the bare chest, but Youngjae pushes him back down with a squeaky sound. It’s futile. Jaebum surrenders.

When Youngjae starts moving, it’s barely anything, but it’s mind-blowing. The motions are hardly even visible from the outside, but Jaebum feels them. Oh, how he feels them. Youngjae’s inside’s churn and tighten around him unlike anything he’s felt before, or at least he can’t remember. His bottom subtly ruts back and forth, so little and yet it evokes so much pleasure, Jaebum knows that his moans sound lewd and desperate. Youngjae’s are quieter, but high in pitch. Jaebum wonders mildly if he really feels that good. But his hand flickers up his body to his chest, thumb and index twirling around a nipple and eventually his eyes fall shut and his head back. His mouth hangs open while he circles his hips, the pressure insane on Jaebum’s member.

Add in the unreal visuals and he’s done for. He’s not used to not being in charge, but he loves it. Youngjae just  _sits_ . He sits and tenses and rolls his bottom down until their sounds of pleasure are rivaling each other in volume. Jaebum’s brain is mush. His eyes can’t focus, dazedly staring up at Youngjae’s disrespectful beauty, caught up in pleasure and want so deeply that he barely notices how his rutting becomes heavier, faster, though not wider.

It’s intense and creeps up painstakingly slow, but oh so steadily. Jaebum forgets that he actually has limbs. He just lays there, fingers tightening and releasing inconsistently and without any conscious doing on his part while Youngjae rocks back on his cock and moans like it’s the best thing ever. Which it might as well be. His fingers release his nipple and wander further up, all the way up his throat and during an extra heated moan they slip past his open lips. Jaebum chokes on his next groan, it looks forbidden when Youngjae sucks on two of his own fingers, eyes shut in pleasure and other hand tugging desperately on Jaebum’s.

  


There’s something intriguing about witnessing Youngjae losing it, dragging him down along. With his body so hot, tightly enclosing him, Jaebum would go anywhere with him. He knows it’s not long now, wonders if it’s the same for Youngjae, wonders if he’ll be able to keep it up until then. “Perfect.” Jaebum croaks out breathless enough to be hardly audible over the sounds Youngjae makes, but he whines and thrusts his hips down desperately, so he probably heard it. It’s easy to keep up and if it helps… “You’re so perfect. So gorgeous.” He rumbles, listening to how Youngjae’s breath hitches, tongue flickering around his middle finger.

  


“You feel so…” Jaebum attempts to say, but he cuts himself off with a gurgled moan over how Youngjae tightens around him. It takes him by surprise, the heat spreading through his body intense, filling every centimeter with dizzying pleasure. Youngjae presses down, bottom twitching, biting down on his fingers, crushing Jaebum’s in his grip and spilling desperate whimpers. Then he comes. It’s unreal how he shudders and twitches and his hole clenches almost painfully tight, almost out of nowhere and untouched. Cum spills down on Jaebum’s chest and stomach. His mouth pops open, his eyes roll back and Youngjae riding it out with a circling bottom and rough panting his enough to draw him over the edge along.

His heels dig into the mattress as he climaxes, intense enough that it wipes anything and everything off his mind except Youngjae. Youngjae’s wet heat engulfing him, Youngjae’s thighs grazing his hips, Youngjae’s soft gasps and Youngjae’s hand in his, fingers still knotted together. “God.” Jaebum mutters as his body relaxes and he manages to blink his eyes, lazily gazing up. Youngjae gazes back, thoughtful and utterly exhausted. Jaebum wishes he would smile, wishes he would look down at him affectionately.

He can’t take it anymore. He wraps his free arm around his waist, finally lifting his torso from the bed and pulls him off his cock. Youngjae yelps when it slips out, then Jaebum rolls them down into the sheets. Their arms end up painfully crooked beneath them, so they thoughtlessly release each other’s hand, but Youngjae still ends up lying on Jaebum’s arm. He knows it’s gonna go numb, but for now it’s okay. He tries to be subtle when he shuffles down with his free hand to get the condom off and throw it in the general direction of the bathroom. “Gross.” Youngjae comments dryly, shifting on his arm to get comfortable, which doesn’t really seem to work. It’s as if their bodies just won’t fit together. Jaebum wraps him in a loose hug, places his head on the pillow so he can study Youngjae’s profile. 

He hums, his soft palm sliding up and down Jaebum’s arms soothingly. “Did you like it?” he asks quietly, tender and Jaebum nods adding. “Did you?” “Yes.” Youngjae breathes out and for some reason feels the need to elaborate. “You feel really good inside me.” It’s Jaebum’s turn to hum. Youngjae finds his hand and plays with his finger, his own are still a little damp where he sucked on them. A small shiver runs down Jaebum’s back. “We…” Youngjae hesitates for a moment. “We could get tested, then…” He shrugs and turns his face towards him. “We can do it without. I’d like to feel you come in me.”

Jaebum is really glad that Youngjae doesn’t avoid looking at him, which he was genuinely afraid of. He’s grateful that they can lie here and cuddle. And he probably blushes at the blunt statement. “We could.” He just answers. God, he would want that.

“Youngjae-ah.” He murmurs after some quiet breathing. His eyes aren’t closed and the light is still on, so Jaebum figures he’s not yet in sleep-mode. He scoots a little closer, close enough to press a few sweet kisses on his jaw. He attempts to speak a few times. He wants to address it, something tugging deep in his guts. But all that he manages to verbalize is “I like you.” He can practically feel the shiver that shakes Youngjae’s body. “Will you tell me?” He asks in a sudden moment of confidence. Youngjae’s head turns for a moment, then faces back towards the ceiling. “Tell you? That I like you back?” He attempts a casual tone but he sounds anxious.  
“Who hurt you.”

It’s silent for such a long time that Jaebum believes he isn’t going to answer at all. Then Youngjae fights free from his embrace and leans over to the bedside table. Jaebum makes a whiny pout. He can do cute if he wants to. Youngjae turns off the light. While he shifts around in the dark, shuffling under the blanket he quietly responds. “Not now.” Jaebum climbs underneath the covers with him, grumbling unhappily. Youngjae hears it, of course and breathes a quiet “Please.”

Noticing that he’s being misunderstood, Jaebum quickly says. “Yes. Okay.” He reaches his arms out. “But cuddle now.” He pouts. Youngjae does crawl into his arms, but before Jaebum can wrap around him he orders teasingly. “Turn around. I like being the big spoon once in a while.” And because it is Youngjae, Jaebum does. He sighs happily when he feels Youngjae’s front fit against his back, more skin on skin contact than they’ve ever had, an arm around his waist, warm breath against his neck. Jaebum’s eyes fall close with ease.

Maybe, he thinks, it’ll need some time. And maybe… maybe it’s not such a bad idea to go first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its only one step from fluffy to predatory for Jaebum the perv.

When Jaebum wakes up, bright sunlight falls in through the curtains and he feels very groggy. He might’ve had a really strange dream he thinks, stretching and rolling around on the mattress. Something isn’t right. “Youngjae.” He mumbles, subconsciously planning to ask him what time it is. And what day. And what year. The bed is empty next to him.

Jaebum shoots up into a sitting position, wide awake in a split second. Adrenaline kicks in, his heart begins to race. Then he hears the toilet flush next door. He falls back down with a huff of embarrassment and relief, ears picking up the running water and finally the bathroom door. “’m sorry, did I wake you?” Youngjae asks as he taps back into the room and finds Jaebum blinking at him. He nods, face half-covered by the blanket. Youngjae lifts it and crawls to his side with sleepy eyes and disheveled hair and puffy lips pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

Jaebum feels incredibly comfortable and domestic. Youngjae places his arms on his chest and props his face onto his hands looking at him from below. It’s so cute. “Jaebum…” He says with the hint of a smile. “Is that a horny morning wood down there?” Jaebum scrunches his nose and makes a pretentiously thoughtful humming sound. Is it? Something lingers in the back of his mind. Images of a dream he had. He lifts the covers and looks down at it. Then he nods. “Think so.”

With a grin Youngjae pulls the blanket over his head and slithers down his body, hidden from his view until he’s all the way down, settles somewhere on his knees. Jaebum is stunned into motionlessness. Next thing he knows is a pair of soft plump lips pressing a kiss to the head of his length. It’s sweet and feels really good. A nice way to start a day to be honest. A few more kisses are placed and then the warmest, softest Hand wraps around the base of his cock. Jaebum sighs in content. He looks down by instinct, but all there is to see is the blanket. It’s naughty. It’s exciting.

Youngjae’s gorgeous lips wrap around his tip confidently and only then he presses his tongue into the sensitive skin. Jaebum makes a sound of approval, a low hum and his eyes fall shut. It’s comfortable. Soft and warm, wrapped in fluffy blankets and pillows. Youngjae isn’t wild or sloppy or outrageous in any way. Just… sweet. Jaebum allows low moans to slip past his lips. Not forced, nor suppressed, just the way they are. He reaches down, under the covers, carding through Youngjae’s hair, then down his neck and shoulder and arm and eventually pulls up his hand a little, just so he can hold it. Youngjae makes a sound around him, barely audible through the fabric, but Jaebum can feel the vibration. Their fingers curl around each other.

Youngjae alternates, prodding with his tongue, circling it around the head and wrapping his mouth over him, engulfing him in the wet, soft flesh. He’s thorough if not messy and it’s good. It really is. Jaebum answers him with a steady string of moans, praising and encouraging without words. When he feels the pull in his guts he tugs at Youngjae’s hand, feels his lips tighten and suck harsher, then Jaebum’s head pushes back into the pillow and his muscles tense as he comes with a deep groan. Youngjae’s warm mouth slips off and the blanket moves when he crawls back up until his messed-up hair pops out from underneath. He leans over and plucks a tissue from the box on the nightstand, obnoxiously spitting into it and wiping his tongue.

Jaebum huffs, wrapping around Youngjae’s chest and pulling him into his arms. The tissue flies anywhere as Youngjae falls back with a small squeak. Jaebum curls around him as much as he can manage and peppers his face with kisses. He can’t help it, he’s just feeling extremely clingy and needy for affection. “Thank you.” He murmurs in between, uncertain if that’s appropriate to say, then brings their lips together. They share a few close-mouthed kisses. “Your turn.” Jaebum smirks, but when he slides his hand down Youngjae’s body, he catches it and pulls it back up. “Don’t bother.” He says and kisses him again. “What?”, Jaebum gasps out against his lips, half swallowed. “I mean.” Youngjae pulls away enough to speak. “Don’t worry.” Jaebum whines. He scrunches his nose and pouts and grumbles in the back of his throat. It makes Youngjae laugh. “Frustrating, isn’t it?” He asks, angelic, kissing Jaebum through his nodding and finally breaching his teeth with his tongue.

They make out a whole lot and that is nice, too. A lot of lips and tongue, but also Youngjae’s finger tangling in his hair and scratching his scalp, making him tingle all over and also them rolling in the sheets, entangling in the blanket and throwing it off the bed and Jaebum sucking Youngjae’s earlobes into his mouth. It’s all somewhat sexual and yet it’s not. It’s sexually intimate, but not in a way that it has to end in an orgasm. Jaebum has butterflies in his stomach.

Their shared shower is of the same kind. They make a mess in the bathroom and giggle and kiss until Jaebum feels like his lips will just fall off. Then they stop kissing for the rest of the day. Only when Youngjae says Goodbye to get back home, they share one last kiss in Jaebum’s doorway and it’s lingering for so long, Jaebum’s neighbor, who opens her door to bring out the trash, sends them a shocked glance, squeaks and throws her apartment door shut. Youngjae smiles and waves and Jaebum can’t deal with the empty feeling inside his chest that won’t let go of him the rest of the night.

  


They were dating very casually. One of them would send a text like “You free on that day?” Or “You wanna go eat this at that place?” And the other would text. “Yeah, sure.” Easy. Now Jaebum finds himself typing. “I miss you.” Into his phone on Monday evening, almost 24 hours after they parted. Youngjae sends a heart emoji.

They go to the movies on Wednesday. They go after having been to the hospital. It feels way too early and Jaebum is awkward, but Youngjae beams. Then he drives him home while they joke about how terrible the movie was and when he doesn’t seem like he intends to get out, Jaebum kisses him Bye over the middle console and goes to sleep alone. It doesn’t feel right.

On Friday they plan to go out for drinks, but in the afternoon Jaebum receives a text that his ‘roommates are out of the house’. Jaebum wonders he if imagines the innuendo and shows the text to Jackson. “Yeah, you’re gonna pork.” Except then Youngjae sends a follow up text saying that he can finally repay all the meals and cook for him.

Jaebum doesn’t know why he’s so anxious that they might not have sex again, but he’s tired of questioning his feelings. Youngjae made lasagna. The apartment is just like Jaebum pictured it. Messy and stuffed. Large kitchen but no living room, three guys using one bathroom and clutter everywhere. He’s fine with the fact they usually hang at his place.

The lasagna is tasty, but not terrific. He compliments it, because it makes Youngjae smile. They’re just about to start the fourth glass of wine when there’s noises in the hallway, a key jingling and the door being opened. Loud voices, apparently yelling at one another make it to Jaebum’s ears. “Oh no.” Youngjae breathes and closes his eyes as if praying to a higher power.

Two boys stumble into the kitchen, the bigger one keeping his smaller friend in a headlock, who is screeching to be let go. They stop dead when they spot them. Jaebum sees their eyes grow wide and wider. The tiny one is being let go and straightens up. Slowly his features spread into a grin. “Ohhh… Hiiiiiii.” “Hi guys.” Youngjae mutters and Jaebum feels the requirement to state. “Hello.” As friendly as he can, even while his plans to get laid flush down the drain. The tall boy raises his hands in surrender, palms forward. “You didn’t tell us, Hyung. We had no idea.” His eyes flicker between them.

Jaebum rises to his feet graciously and extends an arm. “I’m Jaebum.” He offers. The two double over in their attempt to shake his hand, introducing themselves as ‘Bam Bam’ and ‘Yugyeom’ all the while Youngjae does compunctious conversation. Why they’re back already and that ‘Yes’ Jaebum is ‘that guy’. It’s awful. They excuse themselves to Youngjae’s room, taking the wine with them.

Youngjae’s bedroom is a lot cleaner than the rest of the place, so it actually feels comfortable and the love seat is small enough so that they have to be close when they’re sitting down. “I didn’t want that to happen.” Youngjae confesses and flops down onto his back, throwing his legs over Jaebum’s lap, feet dangling off the side. “They’re embarrassing.” Jaebum pets his knees. “Don’t worry.” He grins. “It had to happen sooner or later.” Youngjae grumbles. “Hyung.” He says, pouty and urgent at the same time. “Hmh?” Jaebum looks at his face that he’s raised just a notch off the cushion.

“I can’t keep quiet during sex.”

Jaebum blushes. “You…” he makes and shakes his head. Youngjae sits up, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “That means…” He leans his head against Jaebum’s, speaking right into his ear. “We can’t do it tonight.” Then he innocently glances at him from the side. Jaebum ponders. Certainly Youngjae has some sort of Agenda. To be honest, if he hadn’t been drinking, he’d drive them both back to his place. But he can also understand that Youngjae doesn’t want his roommates to hear them be at it. Is he disappointed? Yes. Is he mad? No.

“That’s alright.” He answers calmly, slipping his fingers under the hem of Youngjae’s hoodie and scratching his back. His head slips down on Jaebum’s shoulder and he makes soft, adorable sounds of approval. Cuddling is just fine.

Jaebum thought.

  


They stay all dressed and decent until he yawns more often than not and for the first time he crawls into Youngjae’s bed. It’s softer and fluffier than his own and he thinks it suits its owner pretty well. That is until said owner presses the whole of his body against Jaebum’s side and slips a hand under the waistband of his boxers. He grabs his wrist and hisses. “Excuse me?” He asks, somewhere between shocked and ironic. “Why not?” Youngjae inquires innocently, but doesn’t attempt to free his hand. Jaebum huffs. “ _You_ said that. We shouldn’t, with your roommates next door.”

“You shouldn’t put him inside me.” Youngjae mumbles against his ear. “Doesn’t mean I can’t touch him.” “Oh Jesus, stop that.” Jaebum mutters exhausted. Youngjae’s sexuality is frustrating. “Fine.” Youngjae snipes, scoots away and turns around, huffing as he pulls the blanket up to his chin. “Fine. I won’t bother you anymore. You know what? I don’t even want to make you feel good anymore.” Jaebum is left speechless. Dumbfounded he stares at the back of Youngjae’s head.

There’s something. There still is something. Of course there is. They haven’t spoken about anything. “Sweetheart.” He murmurs after the deepest breath he’s ever taken and moves in, sneaking his hands around Youngjae’s body, slowly closing him into a tight, spoon-y hug. He peppers fleeting butterfly kisses to the back of his neck to which he grumbles and Jaebum stretches out his foot to rub his big toes against the sole of his foot. Which makes him giggle.

“You adorable little demon.” Jaebum complains. “Are you gonna sulk or go to sleep?” “Sulk.” Youngjae mumbles, half into the pillow. “Okay, how about a bedtime story?” Youngjae nods reluctantly.

“You were right.” Jaebum begins. “About me not being interested in you.” Youngjae wails obnoxiously. “Look, darling. It wasn’t _‘Love at first sight’_ or something. I’ll admit that. It doesn’t mean I didn’t like you. I was just… I wasn’t struck by lightning and I thought… Well, then it’s not worth it.” Youngjae stays quiet. Jaebum pulls an arm out to prop his own head up so he can see Youngjae’s face. His eyes are closed and features relaxed as if he were sleeping.

“That’s all I knew.” He continues quietly. “I knew only instant attraction. That’s how it was with Jinyoung. That’s my ex. Jinyoung.” He watches Youngjae’s brows knit slightly while he figures out how that name tastes on his tongue. Sour. But not burning him. “With him it was hot and wild and crazy from the first second.” Youngjae growls. “Yeah, tell me more.” He sneers sarcastically.

“And we broke up.” Jaebum states dryly. “Because it wasn’t anything even close to love. That’s what I thought, but I was wrong. It was sex and obsession and confinement. And a whole lot of yelling. It could never work out. And yet I was looking for the exact same thing again, because it was all I knew. And then comes you.” He squeezes Youngjae’s arm. “Sweet and kind and comfortable. I thought I wouldn’t have romantic feelings for you, but in fact, you’ve taught me what romance was in the first place. My feelings for you grew over time –and I honestly think they’re still growing- instead of crushing me out of nowhere.”

Youngjae’s eyes flutter open. “I might’ve sent inconsistent signals, I don’t know. But feelings are… complicated.” “So…” Youngjae whispers. “I’m likeable, but not desirable. You’d rather fuck someone you wanna date than date someone you wanna fuck?” Jaebum is shocked. “Youngjae!” He scolds sternly, stemming himself up on both arms and looking down at the boy, who is for whatever reason so extremely insecure and vulnerable.

He turns on his back. “I made you like me by being friendly and cute. So I’m dateable. And the rest just… happens to be a part of it, right?”  
“NO!” Jaebum groans in frustration. “How many more times?” He asks, raising his voice. Youngjae averts his gaze. “Until I believe you.” He breathes, yanking Jaebum’s heart right out of his chest. His anger deflates before it could build up and he falls back down with a heavy sigh. “You’re so hot, though.” He mumbles. “Then stop refusing me.” Youngjae states soberly. Then it’s quiet. They can hear some yelling from another room.

“I’m not.” Jaebum explains, placing his head sideways. “Not because I don’t want you, I told you. I was just scared I’d do something you don’t want. You might be trying to talk it down. But that one time you stopped me last second. And I don’t want that to happen again. Or, even worse, one day you’re not stopping me, even though you want to. It confused the hell out of me. I just want us to be open about our needs and wants and… I don’t want to burden you. Or use you. Or _feel_ like I’m using you. Or take advantage of your insecurities to get what I want. Can’t you understand that?”

“’m sorry.” Youngjae sniffles, burying his face in the pillow. Jaebum sneaks back in his space with a heavy sigh. “Of course you are.” He mumbles, reaching out to soothingly card his fingers through his hair, scratching the skin behind his ear. Youngjae turns his head just enough to peek at him with one eye. “Thank you.” He mumbles, to which Jaebum just nods.

“You could easily take advantage of me.” Youngjae murmurs eventually and Jaebum cringes internally. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.” He makes clear, rubbing his thumb along the shell of his ear. “Right.” Youngjae breathes and his eyes close shut. Then, after an eternity, not just in that moment, but just as if Jaebum has been waiting for this moment his entire life, he mumbles. “He did.”

Jaebum tenses. It does feel like the moment of truth. But Youngjae takes it back immediately. “He didn’t. I did… I…” With a sigh, Jaebum shoves his arms all the way around him and pulls him in, ignores his squealing and tugs on his body until he ends up almost on top of himself. Youngjae props his chin up on his chest and looks at him incredulously. “I like feeling your weight on me.” Jaebum confesses and takes on the task of scratching Youngjae’s back, all the way up his neck and down to his buttocks. It has the desired effect of Youngjae burying his face against his chest.

“Good, now hide your pretty face, so you feel comfortable and then tell me.” He says, phrasing it more like an order than a suggestion. Youngjae grumbles. “I didn’t fetch that.” Jaebum states cheerfully. “I said it’s embarrassing.” He pouts audibly. Jaebum’s chuckle has Youngjae’s whole body shake. “That’s why you shouldn’t look at me.” He explains, rubbing his shoulder blades firmly. “I won’t laugh.” He promises. “I won’t judge you. And I won’t use it against you. Whatever it is.”

“It’s like...” Youngjae carefully begins. “… like the opposite of… of...” He breaks off after only that. Jaebum opts to stay quiet, but makes a point out of calmly stroking his back and sides.   
“He never _made_ me. Never talked me into it. Never threatened to leave me if I didn’t. Quite… the opposite.” He takes such a deep breath that almost all his body heaves off of him for a bit. “He simply… didn’t care.” Jaebum can’t help the way he closes his arms all around Youngjae in a fruitless attempt to soothe, or comfort. “I was so afraid that he didn’t like me. Or would leave me because I had nothing to offer and… I was… so… in love.” Youngjae’s voice is barely steady and so low, Jaebum doesn’t think he ever heard this side of him.   
“I just wanted him to… see something in me? Desire me? I wanted to be thrown down and taken. Seduced. He never did anything like that. Was he being considerate of me? I don’t know I just… I didn’t know how to… So I… _offered_ everything.” Jaebum’s embrace tightens, the pads of his fingers digging slightly into Youngjae’s flesh. “It was me.” Youngjae says, more strongly. “My decision. I thought I could keep him like that. Fulfill all of his wishes. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it. But… I uhm. It was too much? So much that… it became some sort of routine. I was throwing myself at him all the time. Over and over… Until it was just… a duty?” By now, Jaebum doesn’t need to decide keeping his mouth shut. There’s nothing to say.

“I don’t know when I stopped enjoying it. I don’t know when he did. If he ever did... It worked though, for a while. He wouldn’t leave me if he got everything a man could wish for, huh. But it was so… empty. There was nothing real, probably. I felt obligated… Pressured… and hollow. Mostly hollow. I didn’t see it then. I knew it was my decision after all. I did it.” The sound of his voice got quieter until it faded out in a breathless whisper. It hurts. In more ways than one. Youngjae’s sadness hurts. His regret. Also… jealousy. But Jaebum won’t act on that. He’s supposed to not be the asshole. No matter how infuriating the image is.

Youngjae shifts a little and Jaebum realizes that he’s probably expected to say something. But what? “It’s not your fault.” He whispers. “There’s nothing to feel bad about.” He adds “It’s okay.” It’s all empty words, he knows that. “I’m sorry.” He finishes.

It seems enough. Youngjae settles. “He broke up with me after all. I wish I had. I wish I had understood myself earlier, but I didn’t. I hated him for leaving me. I blamed him for using me. I yelled at him, that he only stayed with me all the time because I offered him my body.” He sighs. “He didn’t care. Never did. I never learned why he dated me in the first place. But I couldn’t really blame him. Not when the reality of our messed up relationship settled in.  _I_ decided that I am worth nothing but my weight in naked skin. I lowered myself to that… position.”

Finally, Jaebum has something to say. “You wanted to feel loved. That’s natural. You didn’t force him to stay with you. He shouldn’t have let it happen. He really shouldn’t have.” He despises that man. “You’re wonderful. If he didn’t see that, he’s an idiot.” Youngjae makes a very small, quiet snort. “He did take advantage of that. For whatever reason. Your insecurity about the relationship. That shouldn’t happen. You  _are_ desirable. You should know that.”

Youngjae breathes quietly for a bit, idly playing with the edge of his shirt. “I lost myself there. Entirely. I wasn’t me. Just this… self-inflicted puppet. And...” A deep breath. “And I was afraid that it was going to happen again.”

It’s startling, how Jaebum pretty much forgot why he is hearing this story. Where it leads. How it all comes around to them and their situation and how it ties in with their struggles. Youngjae was so used to offering sex. And then, if it was true what he’d said last time, in that moment realizes he sees more in Jaebum than a hook-up… It must have been scary that he’d slip into the same type of relationship, the same state of mind once again. It makes sense now, it really does. How heartbroken Youngjae was just because Jaebum told him to initiate sexual contact. Of course that was probably the worst thing to say and he feels so disgusted with himself, even though he couldn’t have known.

He realizes that he’s shaking in, maybe suppressed anger, maybe fear, maybe heartache, only when Youngjae finally lifts up his head, props up onto his elbows and looks at him. He just looks and his face is so sturdy as if all the insecurities and fears flowed out of him along with his words. He manages to graze his fingernails along Jaebum’s scalp right above his ear. “I’m sorry.” He feels the need to say and his voice comes out throaty and sad.

Youngjae shows him a sweet, genuine smile. “Most of the time.” He explains. “I don’t even know if I want sex. Or if I like it. I unlearned to listen to my body. I like you so much and I want to make you happy. And then I don’t know if I want to because of that sense of duty or if I genuinely just want…  _you_ .” His voice cracks and smile fades quickly. “I’m so sorry.”

Jaebum shakes his head rigorously at that. “No.” He says. “Don’t you dare apologize.” His threatening tone has Youngjae crack another smile and a tiny huff. Jaebum grabs his face in both hands and presses their lips together. “I like you so. So much.” He says when they part, still keeping his grasp around Youngjae’s head to not let him pull away in embarrassment. “If I do or say something wrong, I am sorry. It’s never because I don’t care, but because I don’t know better. I like you for who you are. I desire you. And I will never ever want to use or take advantage of you.” Youngjae shyly gnaws on his bottom lip and casts his eyes down. “I don’t know if it’s of any use, me saying these things, but I’m being honest. You can do the same. Be feisty and tell me no, tell me you want it right now, even tell me when you’re unsure. I’ll gladly devour you whole, make love to you or just hold and kiss you. Anything. I promise.”

With an embarrassed wail, Youngjae tears out of his grip and throws himself down on the bed, far far away from Jaebum and buries in the blanket. Jaebum is seriously hurt and plans to make himself known with a pout, but Youngjae speaks first. “What?” Jaebum asks, because the muffled mumbling into the sheets was completely incoherent. “I said.” Youngjae lifts his head just so much, voice creaky but loud. “I’d like that last option.” Jaebum frowns and it takes a moment to click.

Then he scoots in with a grin. “Smooches and snuggles it is, then.” He sings, wrapping his limbs around Youngjae’s form and sticks his lips to his cheek. It’s the kind of kiss he knows only from Youngjae, once their mouths find each other. Deep, but lazy, heartfelt but innocent. Just kisses.

  


When Jaebum comes to his senses, he feels very warm. Sleep only clears slowly from his mind, but he doesn’t care. He takes a deep breath and wakes his limbs. Something constrains him to the mattress and it takes some time for him to realize that Youngjae lies almost entirely on top of him again. Like they never moved since last night. Warm. His leg is slung over his waist and his head is placed on his chest, fuzzy hair tickling his chin. He feels a smile creep on his face and slips his hands around Youngjae, smoothing his palms over tender skin carefully. Youngjae makes a sleepy sound and it’s absolutely cute.

It’s only after he relished in the warmth and softness for a while that his fuzzy brain notices something else. Something a little less soft pressing obnoxiously against his hipbones. Jaebum feels a pleasant tickle in his guts, quickly spreading through his whole body. He moves his hands along Youngjae’s skin with just a little more pressure and motivation. Just enough to make him stir slightly and to replace the affectionate tingling sensation with a spark of excitement. A good time to repay a favor he still owes.

He glides his one hand down Youngjae’s back until he reaches the cheek of his butt, squeezing it lightly and then moving it under his thigh. He listens to another sweet little sound. A hum of either content or confusion. Finally opening his eyes, Jaebum looks down into a messy mob of dark hair. He closes his fingers tightly around as much of Youngjae’s thick flesh as he can and with the other behind his back he braces all his strength and rolls over.

Youngjae protests verbally, but incoherent when he lands on his back, Jaebum nudged between his legs, the one that he’s still holding hoisted up his waist. His eyes flicker open sleepily while he’s huffing and humming. “Good morning sunshine.” Jaebum murmurs joyfully and presses a kiss to the cute nose. Youngjae makes another, soundless noise. But Jaebum is already busy pressing more soft kisses to his jaw and neck. At the same time he pushes his hips down, pressing his crotch area right onto Youngjae’s boner, having him gasp.

“Is that a horny morning wood?” He inquires innocently, licking along his throat. “Oh…” Youngjae says and as if involuntary, his bottom rises off the mattress and presses back. “Huh.” He adds uncommitted, but when Jaebum lifts his head to study his face, he witnesses a dazed smile, though his eyes are still half-closed and sleep-ridden. He can’t help but to lean down for a kiss. He just slides his lips along Youngjae’s, because morning breath and all, but he sticks his tongue out, wedging it between Jaebum’s teeth until he allows him in and they kiss deeply, albeit lazy.

Youngjae’s naked lower body rubs greedily against Jaebum’s clothed one and some time into the kiss, he feels him grumble in the back of his throat. Jaebum breaks the kiss and places his lips on his chest instead, quick, fleeting kisses and flicking the tip of his tongue against a perky nipple once. He mouths his way down Youngjae’s front, scooting downwards further and further. Youngjae’s eyes follow him and so that he doesn’t vanish underneath the blanket, grabs it surprisingly secure and throws it off them. Jaebum shudders from the cold air, but it’s worth it that Youngjae’s gaze is fixated on him so heatedly.

He trails his tongue down beneath his belly-button, but avoids the proud erection that reaches out for him. It brushes against his cheek when he wanders further down, having Youngjae hum some more. It’s only when Jaebum slips past his balls that Youngjae’s mouth falls open in a gasp and he can feel his thighs tense that he casually hoisted over his arms. “Oh…” Youngjae makes again and Jaebum doesn’t waste any time whatsoever to slip his tongue between his cheeks. He feels him shudder all around him, his entrance twitching under the flat of his tongue.

“Hyung.” Youngjae gasps, while Jaebum licks up and down his rim, humming that he’s listening. “Can’t you just be normal?” “Huh?” He makes, without taking his tongue away, circling it around the entrance teasingly. “Can’t you just suck me off like a normal person?” Youngjae wants to know, though his bottom his squirming against his ministrations and his voice is strained. Jaebum pops off. “That’d be boring.” He states and breaches the tip of his tongue through his hole. Youngjae yelps. “I’ll want you to fuck me if you keep doing that.” He whines and Jaebum can’t help the grin spreading on his face. “Too bad.” He slurs, busy licking into him.

Youngjae groans in frustration and when Jaebum peeks up he sees his head stretched back and fingers digging into the sheets. Content he goes back to work, slicking around the fluttering muscle and inconsistently digging inside and pulling back out. Youngjae gasps and moans quietly, thighs quivering beside his head. Eating him out is just as amazing as he thought it to be, Youngjae being sensitive and responsive to every little flick of his tongue, every lick answered with soft sounds of pleasure. His entrance tenses and tightens, his hips twitch.

Jaebum feels himself harden, fantasy running wild with all the things he wants to do to Youngjae, all the sounds he wants to hear and the visuals to witness. “Hyung…” Youngjae complains, breath hitching when Jaebum thrusts his tongue in as deep as it will go. „Please… Fuck! Please…“ He groans. “Fuck me.” With a wet, slurping noise Jaebum pulls his tongue back. “You know I can’t.” He teases. “Yes.” Youngjae insists. “Yes, they’re gone anyways.” Rough little pants interrupt his talking, his heels dig into Jaebum’s sides.

He glances up at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Before 9 in the morning?” He asks, both suspicious and a little excited. He sneaks a hand up and rubs the pad of his middle finger over the twitching hole. “Saturday.” Youngjae gasps, voice strangled, Jaebum pushing his finger inside. “Dance group… Morning...” He staccatos. And ends with another “Please.” Jaebum hums, licks against his balls and presses another finger into him, the drag rough with nothing but saliva to slick it up, but Youngjae whines quietly anyways, pushing his bottom against them.

Not that he doesn’t want to. God, how much he wants it. Even his thin boxer shorts are feeling too tight with how just licking Youngjae got him hard beyond words. But he kind of wanted to spoil him a little. Plus, having to stay quiet because of an unsuspecting audience is somehow a really exciting thought. Jaebum presses kisses to the inner of Youngjae’s thigh and listens to his soft whimpers while fingering him lazily. Oh, screw it.

He detaches himself from in between Youngjae’s legs, kisses up the front of his thigh, over his hipbones, his ribs and all the way up his throat until their mouths find each other again. Youngjae’s legs scramble around him and Jaebum presses his hips down, letting Youngjae feel his hard on and making both of them moan into each other. What Jaebum didn’t expect though, was Youngjae getting a hold of his upper body and, catching him off-guard, throwing him over and rolling on top of him. He complains weakly, but Youngjae is already busy  _finally_ tearing his clothes off until he’s as naked as him.

Next thing Jaebum knows, Youngjae conjured up a bottle of lube from thin air and messily pours it over his aching erection. Jaebum keens when a warm hand wraps around him, spreading the wetness evenly with skilled motions, riling him up even more. He needs all his willpower to not sluggishly thrust into Youngjae’s hand, who then releases him and braces himself on his chest with both arms, smearing sticky lube all over his belly. Jaebum objects. He sits up, throwing Youngjae off balance and placing him backwards down in the sheets. “Not this time, little demon.” He chides. “It’s my turn.” Youngjae shows him the most adorable pout. “I don’t like being on my back.” He whines. “It’s uncomfortable.”

Jaebum pulls a face. Missionary is his favorite. “Well, then turn around.” He chastises, to which Youngjae dutifully complies, rolling onto his stomach after Jaebum gave him some space. He shoves his knees between Youngjae’s nudging them apart in the process, a little further than necessary. But Youngjae doesn’t mind. In fact, he props his head up on his elbows and settles himself comfortably, shifting and squirming. So long that Jaebum leans down over him, pressing his lips between his shoulder blades, mumbling. “Will you stop humping the mattress long enough for me to get inside of you?” Youngjae pouts. “Then hurry.”

Hurry, he does. Leaning down onto one arm he uses the other to guide his impatient erection between Youngjae’s cheeks, which is difficult because he just wouldn’t stay still. He moans softly while rutting his crotch over the sheets. “Shush now.” Jaebum growls, way darker than he intended and Youngjae stills dead with a teeny yelp. He’s shaken in arousal, pressing his tip through Youngjae’s entrance and listen ing to him moan when he stretches him open. In some strange way it feels like the first time, finally being able to sink into Youngjae’s heat, have his hole open around him. He accommodates well, tight but slick and Jaebum verbalizes his pleasure when he feels him suck him in.

Youngjae’s impatient hips go back to small rutting motions while Jaebum pushes deeper slowly and he moans quietly. Jaebum grunts and thrusts forward, bottoming out with ease, Youngjae sheltering him well, but yelping in surprise. His fingers dig into the sheets and he stills once more, breathing heavily. Jaebum leans down to him, peppering kisses onto his neck and shoulders as he starts grinding his hips. No thrusting, just small, circling motions, enjoying Youngjae’s rough pants. Then he remembers something.

“Babe.” He murmurs between kisses to soft skin. “You feel so good.” Youngjae moans and his butt pushes back against him immediately. “You take me so well.” It’s breathtaking how Youngjae reacts to his words. He whimpers, cute but needy and Jaebum doesn’t bother with how he himself groans when he pushes his hips. “You’re just perfect for me.” He keeps praising between grunts and shallow thrusts and it’s absolutely true. His body is so hot and just the right amount of tight, his inner walls fitting so snugly around him as if it was a space carved out just for his cock.

His brain is running wild while he tries to keep the rocking motions of his body steady. He keeps envisioning the small, intense movements with which Youngjae rode him last time, though the slowness is driving him crazy. Youngjae moans and squirms under him, his soft body taught, knees digging into the mattress to push his bottom up against him. “Hyung…” Youngjae whines and Jaebum shudders that he still won’t drop the title even as they’re fucking and it feels quite dirty. “Harder please.” It’s barely more than a whisper, somewhere between shy and desperate.

Jaebum snaps with a groan, eliciting a high-pitched ‘Ah’ from Youngjae when he thrusts forward harshly. “God, Youngjae…” He growls. “You have no idea… You’re so hot.” Youngjae whimpers, his hole clenching and loosening erratically. “How much I want to screw  you into oblivion. How I want to fuck you so hard you forget and can’t sit for a week.” He moves with more fervor, burying deeply in his heat with every thrust. “Don’t tempt me.”

It’s not the most sophisticated dirty talk, admittedly. But it works if the rutting bottom and needy wails are anything to go by. Jaebum feels like he’s been waiting for too long. He was fine up to now, but now that they’re on it… He doesn’t want to hold back anymore. “ Do it.”

Youngjae cries out helplessly when Jaebum braces his hands against the mattress and follows suit, picking up his pace and rocking into him  like he has one more day to live. Adrenaline rushes through his veins, a sizzling energy that leaves no room for anything else. Nothing but Youngjae’s perfect body, his all-consuming heat and desperate moans. His mind hazes in endless pleasure, pounding Youngjae into the mattress until it squeaks under the force and he slips forwards over the dampening sheets.

He’s moaning, probably obnoxiously so, but he has ears only for Youngjae’s overwhelmed cries and eyes only for his shuffling head and clenching fists as he takes him and takes him and takes him. Jaebum’s legs ache in a blink, his arms shaking from exhaustion and he forces himself to speed up just another notch, giving it his all. He knows he can’t stop, can’t slow, not when he’s drunk on ecstasy, not when every hard thrust has Youngjae mewl and whimper and his muscles tighten around him.

H is wild pouncing has the poor bed eventually thump against the wall, mixing in with their feral moaning, a combined noise so lewd and loud, the neighbors better be at dance practice too. Not that he cares really. He’s chasing the high like a rabid animal, all coherency long forgotten, even as his hips begin to stutter and he feels on the verge of passing out. “Hyung...” Youngjae chokes out, voice broken beyond repair, tense body long pressed flat into the mattress, no more room or strength to work back against him and Jaebum knows. He feels it, too, ridiculously close and about to explode.

He growls. “Babe.” And Youngjae sputters the lewdest, longest moan of all, loud and high-pitched and Jaebum feels how he clenches tight, almost tearing the sheets apart in his clenching fists and it is enough, more than enough for him to  topple over the edge . The ground opens beneath him  and he falls, static noise filling his ears and head when his orgasm takes him out. The pleasure takes over his body entirely as he empties in Youngjae’s depths and stays there, buried to the hilt until the numbing waves of release wear off.

It takes a while for him to come back to his senses, sentiment returning to his limbs. He groans quietly, feels the racing of his heart and the hard, painful way his lungs demand more oxygen. He’s huffing and panting and only then notices Youngjae’s limp form, face buried in the sheets and fingers hanging loosely around the fistfuls of blanket he held on to.  It’s almost tortuously difficult to stem himself up enough to slip his soft dick out of the wet warmth that is Youngjae’s perfect butt and roll off to the side. It’s not elegant, he falls like dead weight and takes a moment to recover from the exhaustion.

“Youngjae?” he asks softly, when he trusts his voice enough to actually produce sound. Youngjae answers, an incoherent “Nhhhhhn.” Muffled by the bed. Jaebum lies on his side and reaches out his hand to touch the mob of dark hair. It’s meant to be gentle, but ends up a little clumsy, more like an awkward pat. “Okay? You?” He asks, a tad anxious. Was he too harsh.

Youngjae just so turns his head towards him, flushed face emerging from the mess of sheets and blinks tiredly. “Uhnn.” He makes and it is accompanied by somewhat of a nod. Their eyes lock and there they stay for a while. Just looking and breathing and cooling down. It’s after an eternity that Youngjae mumbles. “That was rad.” Jaebum frowns. “Rad?”

“Good.” Youngjae clarifies. “Yeah… Good.” Jaebum shows him a lazy smile. “That’s how much I desire you.” He promises to which Youngjae scrunches his nose. “I _won’t_ be able to sit.” He complains. “But sometimes… sometimes I’ll like this.” Jaebum’s heart makes a tiny jump in his chest and he doesn’t really know why. Maybe Youngjae’s soft, pretty features are enough to have his heart beat out of the ordinary, even with that fucked out expression. Or maybe because of that. Or maybe just the imagine of how much they can have and be as Youngjae overcomes his troubled past.

Or maybe Jaebum just enjoys a good fuck. But with Youngjae. Yes, with him it has to be.

His tired eyes fall shut and he thinks about sleeping in a little more, but just in that moment someone  loudly raps at the door. They fly open in terror. “Hey, you fucking creeps!” Someone yells from outside. “Are you done with your fuck?! Because if yes, come for breakfast you pervs.” Someone stomps away noisily. “I thought they were gone!?” Jaebum hisses soundless, though now it’s too late to be quiet anymore.

Youngjae looks absolutely unfazed however, showing him a lopsided grin. “I lied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOSH, I'm glad this is over. Caution: Ramble!
> 
> Tbh with you guys, this fic ate me alive. I was feeling so desperately uninspired and drained and I changed direction about three times.  
> If I am being real, there's not much story here, a little bit I wish I hadn't written it at all.  
> Ever since I finished Hot n Warm, the feedback I receive has been underwhelming. Now this does not go to my wonderful lovely comment writers, I love you guys and I am eternally grateful to you <3 But since the clicks and Kudos have been declining so much, I attempted to compensate by writing a lot and posting often and now I am officially running dry.  
> Now it could be that maybe it's just the fandom that's dead or simply the ship that's barely popular anymore, but if the fault is with me I should reconsider my writings.  
> I do love the One Shots I've posted personally, but maybe it's not what people wanna read? Idk
> 
> Moral of the story, I think I'll from now on focus more on the longer lasting, multi-chaptered fics I've had in the making for a year. I tend to not get anywhere with them if I get distracted by writing a OS here and there, so I think there'll be a break from posting while I try to get those fics to a point where I can post them comfortably without bringing myself into the situation where I feel pressured to desperately keep writing without any clear motive or plan.
> 
> Anyways, I am not out of the picture, even it may take a while I AM NOT DEAD.
> 
> Love you guys, come talk to me.  
> [...](https://curiouscat.me/) [ ... ](https://absolutely-legit.tumblr.com/)


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